Medals

A snippet, and don't let anyone tell you that we don't try and educate you at Mapperley Golf Club. Do you know why a Medal competition is called that?

In the late 18th Century, a competition was inaugurated at Blackheath Golf Club in London, said to be the oldest golf club in the world. The lunch club, known as the Knuckle Club presented the 'Knuckle Club Medal', which is a strokeplay competition which is still played for every year in the Spring. First competed for in 1769, it is the oldest golf trophy in the world, and more importantly, has given us the word 'medal'. There's a picture of the medal on the Blackheath website.



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Daft descriptions for golf gear

I'm developing a bit of an irritation. It's to do with the way the marketing gonks at the club manufacturers describe their products. I'm a marketing man myself, so I'm not scared of purple prose or descriptions that are intended to excite the reader. Not at all.

What irritates me is when the description of the club (or ball, or other bit of kit) is completely meaningless. I'll give you an example: Ping drivers. They do several, and they are characterised across a number of parameters, one of which is 'forgiveness'. Now, I realise you can't easily have 'low', 'medium' and 'high' - nobody will go for a driver with 'low' forgiveness, but 'high', 'maximum' and 'extreme'? What exactly do they mean, and is it in any way meaningful?

I think, though, that my favourite so far is the Titleist brochure. Now, it might be useful to know what sort of player each iron set is aimed at, so they need a way of describing the player. Fair enough, they aren't going to go 'rubbish' 'quite good' 'wanna be pro', are they?

What, pray, does 'avid', 'serious' and 'skilled' tell me, though?


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It's been a while

Well, it's been a few weeks since I last posted. The various committees are interesting, and they all take on their own particular character. Greens committee tends to be very formal compared to the others, we have the report of the head greenkeeper and that's part of his job so I guess you would hope that he would take it seriously! The quality of the course is also the heart of the club, obviously, so he fields a lot of questions about everything from the trees and what species we should be planting through to the speed of the greens (currently a bit slow but the grass is growing too fast!). Something that keeps coming up is the quality of the bunkers. This is an issue in every club, apparently, and all club greenkeepers visit each other all the time to compare notes. Our issue is slope and drainage, apparently. There's a new idea that puts a porous concrete profile into a bunker that we might try out, but it's expensive.

The other committees are a bit more lighthearted, though the full General Committee is a jacket and tie job and is run as though we were a PLC.

As far as the golf has gone this season, I think I've discovered what I have been doing wrong, he said with the possibly misplaced optimism of thousands of golfers who have gone before. Swinging too steep, I think. I managed to play to handicap or thereabouts last week and that's the first time for a while. It's another medal on Saturday so we'll see...


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What a bloody game!

We've had the first couple or three of the summer comps now, and I'm a bit more used to playing off the white pots again. The course seemed very long indeed for the first comp, played when everything was still wet through, but last weekend and this have been a lot more like it. Last week was an am/am. Poor Peter (son, off 25): he didn't play with me, but played with three chaps who are new members, joined late last year. NINETY SIX points, they put in, Peter played like a golfing god. Won by eight.......until one of the blokes was found to have an inactive handicap. His scores were take off, and they were down to 82 points and well out of the prizes. I agree with the new rules on inactive handicaps, people should keep their handicaps active etc, but this was a bit 'law of unintended consequences'. Nice bunch of blokes, joined late in the year, have played all winter, when there are no qualifiers, caught out. Maybe we should have given a month's grace or something. Peter was, of course, extremely disappointed.

Sunday was the monthly mixed, we were just outside the prizes but Julie and I both played well. Difficult to say, but I think I would probably have had a 78! Would have been a new record. Flushed with confidence Peter and I both went out in this week's monthly medal. I had a 92 and Peter N/R'd. Just goes to show.

Back on the white pots at last

Let me bring you up to speed. Last time, I mentioned that I was standing for the committee. That was more involved than I was expecting, for certain. I don't know about you, but I have always found that as soon as you put your hand up and offer help to any organisation, they nearly tear your arm off to get you in. I think its great that in a golf club, certainly in ours, it isn't quite like that and there is a debate and a vote. In our case committee members stand for two years before offering themselves for re-election, so what appeared to be six candidates for four places in the end was effectively three people for one spot, once the existing committee members were re-elected. We all had to make a presentation, explain what we brought to the party. I'm reasonably comfortable speaking in public (there were probably 200 members there!), the other two guys clearly less so, and to cut a story short, I was elected.

As a marketing man, I'm interested in the set-up, which I suspect mimics most other clubs. There are committees for greens, house, social, competitions, plus the various organisers and captains. To me it's all a bit inward-facing. Our treasurer has done a great job on the new website but there isn't anything in place to give the club a more public face in the community at large apart from suggestions brought to the general committee's monthly meetings . We've started addressing that, with a Facebook group and Twitter feed (@mapperleygolf), but it will be slow work, I think. I'll write more about the committee when its interesting!

To the golf! We've finished the winter comps now. For us, the last two weeks were played on a very sad note, as Andy, the 16-year-old in our group, lost his dad very suddenly. A dreadful thing to happen.

We're back on the back pots now. The course looks very long indeed. In casual rounds, I'm playing great. With a card in my hand, hopeless. Trying to hit the ball too hard and losing tempo, is my current theory. The first qualifier was a Stableford, and I managed the grand total of 27 points. Absolutely useless. A 0.1 for me. Peter played the comp and did well, scoring 38 points and leaving a lot out there, he said, including three blobs. He'll come down nicely this year.

Through March, we've been experimenting with an alternative course layout, swapping over the second and ninth holes. It has been controversial to say the least. Mapperley is a hilly course, and the change introduces an extra hill between the first green and the second tee, so the seniors are against the change right from the start. Most of the ladies too. There's no doubt that the flow of play from second to third and ninth to tenth is improved, and it removes a spot on the course where people can be hit by errant shots. At busy times though it looks as though there's a féte going on by the eighth green as people cross over. I think it will be voted down, but I have mixed feelings.

Yesterday, I got a call from the club at about 2.15. 'Bit of a long shot, but can you play at Ruddington at 4.30?' Apparently the date was wrong in the club calendar and we had an inter-club foursomes match, and it was only when the captain of the other team called to check on something that the cock-up was discovered.

The inter-club foursomes is not, as it sounds, some sort of deviant sexual practice, but is one of the premier competitions in Notts and is usually played between members of the 'scratch teams' (best players in the club, not the likes of me). We got to Rudd, met the other team, from Nottingham City (three out of the four of them 3-handicappers). I vaguely wondered why we were playing in Ruddington rather than at one of the home courses. Foursomes matchplay, like in the Ryder Cup. In failing light at just after 8pm, we ended up all square over the two matches, we were one-down, our other team were one-up. We had to play an extra hole. You couldn't even see the ball at your feet properly, never mind see where you had hit it. We swapped opponents, hacked our way up the first hole. The first match halved the hole, all down to us, receiving a shot. Our opponents were on the green in two, we were over the back of the green in three after I had skied the tee shot and then caught the approach shot a bit thin. Tony, my partner, then played a chip that Tiger Woods would have been proud of to a foot from the hole. The other guys conceded our putt, giving them a putt for the match, two for a half. Their first putt went two feet past and their player looked at me to see whether I would concede the putt. No chance. He missed left and the match was OURS!

It was at this point that someone told me that this was a knock out and all terribly serious. That was why we were at a neutral venue. All very FA cup semi-final. Good luck to the first team in the next round!

Midwinter update

As I write this, 18th of Feb, we are six weeks or so away from the start of the season. There's been the whole acres of nonsense about Tiger Woods, snow, snow and more snow, and I've bought a new trolley. A Motocaddy S1, no less, replacing the old Frazer unit I have struggled with for the last year.

As far as Tiger goes, can I just say that I don't care what he's been doing and with whom? He is going to face a small section of the media on Friday and make some sort of apology, but I'm not sure who he's apologising to and for what. As far as I can see it's between him and his missus.

Right, what's been happening? Winter golf has been......mixed. I've been struggling with my swing off and on, but I'm quite excited because I think I've worked out what's been going wrong. Not getting my let hip out of the way quickly enough so tending to push the ball right, coupled with an annoying tendency to lift my head up on shots, so I've also been topping the ball a bit. As PG Wodehouse said - keep your head still, keep your eye on the ball and dinnae press. My swing thoughts tend to go: slow back, smooth through, and a Hollywood finish, but hey, nobody's paying me.

Our winter team includes two juniors, my son Peter and Andy Norton. Both of them are growing like bamboo, so their geometry changes on a week by week basis. Despite this, both are playing pretty well, though as a team we haven't troubled the prize table yet. Our fourth member is Eddie Robson, as last year, who is still playing two full rounds of golf a week at 84. A great guy and still very spry, though I think the hills at Mapperley are starting to take their toll a little and he says he isn't intending to play every Saturday through the summer.

Peter, Julie and I played Ruddington grange this week. Nice course only spoiled by tipping down with rain. I shot 86, which may not sound great but is a lot better than I have been playing recently. Peter had an eagle 2 on the par 4 9th, which he is unbearably smug about!

And that's it, really, except to say that it's club AGM next week and I'm standing for the committee. It is apparently going to be a vote, which will be interesting. Everywhere I have joined a committee for in the past has been only too delighted to have people willing to serve, so this is new territory. Wish me luck!

The summer season, out with a whimper, not a banger

Well, that's the summer season over. I've played virtually every weeekend competition, won the Challenge Cup and come down by 10 from 24 to 14; Julie has played all year, got her handicap, reduced it from 36 to 31 and we have a fine silver plated candelabrum on the sideboard to prove it. Peter has played for the junior team, representing them at two of the finest courses in the midlands. I've played with some extremely nice blokes, had some good arguments, learnt a huge amount about the game and how it is played, thoroughly immersed myself in golf. That was the summer that was.

Saturday was the traditional season closer, the Turkey Medal. The prizes were not of money or pro shop vouchers but of meat vouchers for the local butcher, including the top prize of a Christmas turkey. Well, didn't really get close. Actually really a long, long way away from close. If you must know, I shot 95 for 95th place... Peter played too and had a nightmare of 107 for 99th. We were both just above the N/R's. Conditions were foul, but that's no excuse. Rubbish.

Needless to say, played again on Sunday, just nine holes and was under par. That's golf, I suppose. Julie had another birdie. That's three in the last couple of weeks, after not having had one before.

Before that, I was in the team for the Alliance match at Wollaton Park. That was interesting - Wollaton is a Nottinghamshire stately home, and the course runs through the deer park. I'd never played there before, but Peter had and told me that you get quite close to the deer. He wasn't kidding! The deer are rutting, and several times we had to wait for the stags to stop bellowing at each other and get off the fairway. It's the only course I've played where there is a local rule that you can ment hoofprints on the greens. Tee to green I played single figure golf. Hit every fairway apart from one and was great. On the greens I was rubbish. 33 points anyway, should have been 36 or 37, but there are lots of should haves in golf.

Bring on the winter. I probably won't post as often through the winter, as the competitions are more casual and none are 'qualifiers'. Hope you have enjoyed reading it so far.